1. When you finally agree to follow your friend to their church and you’re enjoying the service.

2. Then you now hear “if you’re worshiping with us for the first-time…”

3. How your friend looks at you when you refuse to raise your hand:

4. When you finally stand up and the whole church turns to look at you like:

5. You, when they start singing “you are welcome in the name of the Lord…”

6. How all the old church aunties stand up to come and welcome you:

7. When they tell you to pack your bible and move to the front of the church.

8. When they give you first-timers card to fill and you see space for phone number.

9. You, waiting for the whole service to just do and finish:

10. When the service ends and you hear “all the first-timers please wait behind.”

11. When you’re expecting jollof rice but they give you CD of the pastor’s message.

12. You, when the welcoming unit asks “can we visit you sometime?”

13. When they start telling you about all their mid-week services.

14. When you’re leaving and they ask “will we be seeing you again?”